Constrained To Judge?
By Huzaima Bukhari
Just like there are two sides of a coin, heads and tail that despite being close together are poles apart in their identities; opinions about something particular can differ yet remain positive and original. Complexities of life are such that at times it becomes very difficult to take a particular side and stick to it no matter how good our intentions as there can be multidimensional ways to observe and deduce. Considering oneself to be always correct is in fact reflective of a bloated ego that refuses to bend when shown the truth, therefore this op-ed is apropos to “The beauty and ugliness of perception” published on November 25, 2023 and discusses the flip side of being judgemental as rightly pointed out by an ardent reader.
We are constrained to judge everyone, everything and all that happens around us except that we just need to adjust the sails of our ship of life to retain its balance to allow for smooth sailing!
From early childhood, the first lessons on judging others begins at home when parents restrain their children from speaking to or taking things from outsiders. Try being nice to an unknown kid and the look that will come across would be that of mistrust when the child attempts to decipher whether the stranger is a friend or foe. In educational institutions, most of the time students are judging teachers from the way they look, behave, talk and teach so from their feedback, the administration becomes obliged to elevate or terminate faculty members.
In our lives, we come across thousands of people, we make acquaintances of hundreds but we are judgemental when choosing friends and that is wise too since we cannot be intimate with all whom we come across daily. Ill-tempered, ill-mannered, demanding, socially incompatible are some of the traits we are quick to discern and thus avoid befriending such people. This implies that we have laid down certain criteria for those who we can trust and in whose company we can be comfortable.
people judge”. From a young age our brains are programmed to judge the way our elders want us to view the world which enables our thought processors to switch onto idle modes as we conveniently go along judging without paying attention to detail because that would obstruct our free movement.
We are hardly ever taught the path of how to decide as decisions are thrusted on us from day one. Those who dare activate their thinking and take a different view usually end up being called rebels, liberals or leftists. Their idea of right and wrong is separated by a thin film of rationalization and compassion therefore they are hesitant to pass an instant verdict.
One cannot prevent people from judging as it is part of their innate nature but one can at least endeavor to inculcate compassion and self-awareness to allow more openness for understanding others as they are and not how we would like to place them in our own perception. As Doe Zantamata wisely said: “Through judging, we separate. Through understanding, we grow”.
There is a dire need to spread kindness and empathy because we must realize that everyone we meet is fighting a battle about which we have no knowledge. Although we are constrained to judge, we just have to inject it with an ampule of wisdom laced with sense.
There is a dire need to spread kindness and empathy because we must realize that everyone we meet is fighting a battle about which we have no knowledge. Although we are constrained to judge, we just have to inject it with an ampule of wisdom laced with sense.
